One year ago today, I was due. And then overdue, and still you flip-flopped in my belly, not giving a rat's behind if it was the ninth of March and your mama had already carried you to term. You stayed in there ten more days and then, although you were a big ol' bundle of joy when you came out, somehow you were still so teensy.
And now look at you, sittin' like a person at the kitchen table. Stop already.