He smiles.

He really, really does. Big ones. Wide ol' gummy ones with his eyes mouth and cheeks. I just love it.

It happened.

He turned one month old. Without our permission.

Three for Thursday.

Maybe this will be a weekly occurrence. Maybe I shouldn't make promises I can't keep. It is a lot easier to blog on Thursdays, though, when Miss Alla is in school and Fisher is napping, than it is on Tuesdays when all three of us are at school and half the day is gone when we get back home.

Yesterday Fisher somehow decided he would suddenly become four weeks old. We did not give him permission, seeing as how doing so would only lead to other such events. Turning one month old, for example. But since it did happen, I made sure to document it.

Alla is forever wanting to hold him. He was pooping while she held him so she placed a burp bloth under him so he wouldn't get poop on her bed. Then she pulled it up between his legs like an extra diaper. I love this one because it's his face so clearly, this is just him, what he looks like at four weeks, beginnings of baby acne and all. Love you little Fish.

Ten on Tuesday.

1. The babe's cord fell off a week ago and so we gave him a bath. We call this a success, having bathed him before one month old, which is how long Alla had to wait til we got around to it.

2. I really wanted to include a nakey bath shot here but thought better of putting his parts out there like that.

3. Here's why I initially thought it was so important to show the nakey baby, though: took him to the doctor yesterday for a check up and learned he is up to TWELVE pounds, FIVE ounces. That's a gain of more than two pounds since birth. And more than that, actually, since they lose weight initially. He is definitely getting round, and obviously has the nursing thing figured out.

4. Good thing about the weight gain: we can now move onto cloth diapers! Excited as I was initially, I tried one out yesterday and was all thumbs. I guess we better just get started so we can figure it out.

5. See I told you he was starting to smile! This is the best we can capture at the moment, but it's much more pronounced than this, the whole squinty-eyes and big grin thing. We love it.

6. This is so sweet. After much reprimanding about how we don't use the measuring tape on our baby brother's feet, arms or head, she finally put it down and just kissed him.7. I love these two. Kinda out of focus and all since it's me there holding the camera and the babe's hand, but it's kind of something you have to document I think, how teensy the hands are.8. Just me and my littlest love.9. While I post this, Alla is getting into my scrapbook cupboard and getting out all the 'punchers' and putting them into the other cupboard and is now using my ruler to 'count the numbers:' sixty-one, sixty-two, sixty-three, sixty-four, sixty-five. I didn't know my ruler was so big.

10. We need to find a way to order an entire case of Trader Joe's Apple Strawberry fruit leathers. She's obsessed. And she calls 'em fruit weather.

Three for Thursday.

This has been our first week without Daddy home.

I'd say we're doing alright, especially considering that Alla is getting over the cold that she gave to Fisher. Argh. The joys of having a big sister, right, little man?

I've certainly learned that there are few things I will give up sleep for. Actually I can't think of one off the top of my head. Definitely not for blogging, or even photographing, let alone editing. If both kids are asleep I run to my bed, close my eyes super tight and pray for immediate sleep.

But in one of my productive awake periods yesterday, since my son is now three weeks old, I captured this. And in my head I imagined lots of comparison posts so you could see how he and Alla are just spitting images of one another at this age, but that would require spending loads of time downstairs on my computer, and, let's face it, I'm spending loads of time in my own bed. He barely fits in this basket. And I thought it was a big basket.And, it's too elusive for me to photograph at the moment, but my son is making attempts at smiling. It's this big toothless double-dimpled grin when you nuzzle into his cheekies. Gotta get that on video at least. Or maybe this weekend Daddy can hold the camera and I can get him to do the grin. Stay tuned.

We are ready for spring here but apparently Mother Nature feels we haven't had enough winter yet as another storm with measureable snow is on its way tonight. Sigh. We'll get spring one day, right?

And with that, I'm glancing over at my son all swaddled up snug as a bug and seeing his eyes grow very heavy, so that means, you guessed it, run to my own bed and pray for immediate sleep. Ta-ta!

Family outing.

To the mall with the merry-go-sel (some people call them carousels, some call them merry-go-rounds, but our daughter likes to combine the two). But when we got there she wanted nothing to do with it.

Got her some new pajammies (also her term) for this warmer (58 degrees) weather we're having.

And a new filter for our fridge.

Exciting stuff, I tell you, for a Saturday morning. Not really, I guess, except that it is, when you have a newborn and a trip to the mall is a trip out of the house and an opportunity to put on makeup and feel like you didn't just stumble out of bed.

And, funny story, while we're driving there, looking at all the construction happening on the sides of the freeway, Alla is remarking on how 'they' need to clean up all that mud and sand. So I ask her, 'What people?' And she says, 'THOSE people, Mommy! Jesus.' And you know the tone she used for that last bit, right? It was just more than a whisper, an exasperated whisper. Like, DUH MAMA. Ron and I just burst out laughing. That girl.

Ten on Tuesday.

1. Here's how we roll in Minnesota, several inches of shovel-able (yep that's a word) snow on March 31st.

2. I have a nephew! My sister had her bouncing baby boy on Easter Sunday...little Brian.


3. My friend Marie had her baby exactly a week after I had Fisher...little Charlie.


4. My dear friend Samantha had her baby, too! Little William, born four days ago. Ah, four days. Wishing I could go back to four days. Oh, except for the pain at four days. And the rash from the iodine. OK, I'll take thirteen days. But no more.

5. My sister-in-law, who is carrying my other nephew, started a blog. Hooray! This is great news since they live in Japan and it's not likely that we'll be traveling that far to see little Ryan.


6. My dear friend Sara also gave into the peer pressure and started a blog, and has been quite the little poster! Now we can see her 2 little guys on a regular basis.


7. Look what Alla did at school last week. Is that not amazing penmanship? She puts those little dots on the ends of the letters 'to protect the letters,' she says.

8. Alla woke us up at three a.m. to tell us she farted. It's, like, not as satisfying if she doesn't tell someone that she's done it. She's also obsessed with singing Fisher Fisher Bo Bisher Banana Fana Fo Fisher, Me My Mo Misher, Fisher. Obsessed.

9. My son can go through some diapers.
10. Can you even resist itty tiny baby feet? I cannot.

Bonus #11 (Feel free to pay me in extra sleep). I swear my son kisses me.


** That quilt came from my virtual baby shower, is made by Petunia Petunia, and no we did not put two and two together before Fisher was born, to realize that those are indeed fishes on that quilt, even though we did indeed have his name picked out while that lovely quilt lay waiting on his crib. Nor did we realize that he would be a Pisces, the symbol for which is, yes, a fish. Appears that Mommy brain began while he was still in utero.

A few to share.

Exactly one week old...With big sis, who loves him very much and doesn't seem to mind that he turned out to be a boy after all. But I thought he was a girl! is something she said only once. Now, he's my baby brother.Thanks to a visit from Susan and Eric and Evan yesterday, we got lots of great stuff, like thisAnd this. Of course it will take me months to edit all the ones she took, but I forced myself to do at least two so I can see my new family of four. Well you can't exactly SEE Fisher here, but you can see how much we love him. Especially Alla.

Don't worry, though, cause the little guy is not missing out on photo ops. Here's what he did for the camera today, my 11-day-old, during our afternoon siesta. And before you say, he and Alla have the same dimple, let me tell you, he's got two.

Ten on Tuesday.

1. I may never edit another photo. That would take time. Time is not something I have a lot of. Unless I can start editing remotely from my upstairs nursing station.
2. Blogging may or may not include photos. Those posts that do include photos may just be shots from Ron's camera, cause those can be uploaded upstairs and mine have to be uploaded downstairs. I've been downstairs once in three days. Oh, this is twice, sorry.
3. Some posts may only consist of photos, cause we all know you'd rather see those than read what I have to say.

4. Fisher is amazing.


5. I can remember life without him, because a week ago I was still pregnant, but I this new life is much better. So full.

6. Fisher has hairy shoulders.


7. Alla gets to take Daddy to school tomorrow. She is beside herself.


8. I realize it's not Tuesday. Trust me, if I don't put this up right now, it won't happen.


9. Hoping for a first photo shoot tomorrow for Fisher. While Alla is in school.

10. Daddy stays home tomorrow. Ahhhh, Daddy. Love him.

This one.

Likes to have his hands out. Unlike his big sis, who was swaddled like a straight-jacket til she was one.

Was awake for over an hour today just-a-gazin' out the window and sucking on his hands.

Smells sooooooo yummy.

I know you're wondering what I'm doing blogging from my rocking chair here in the hospital. But truth is, my butt is falling asleep in the bed. My incision hurts, so it's not like I can just make the rounds, and there's not a lot else to do in a hospital. If you have any good ideas, I'm all ears. Cause I'm a little b-o-r-e-d. Smitten, though.

Finally.

Our son is here

Fisher Ronald Killins

was born tonight

at 5:46pm

10 pounds 2 ounces

23 inches long


and beautiful.

It's a beautiful day...

...to have a baby!

I even washed my hair!

Check back soon for news...

Ten on Tuesday.

Like I said, no blog entry does not mean baby.

1. Got spaghetti sauce in the crockpot for dinner. Keep wondering if this will be the last meal I cook for awhile. And then I end up having to go to the store for groceries to make another meal.

2. Got MOM coming in today! She's on the airplane right now! Surely if Nana's coming, then Pondegore must be ready to come out?

3. We got several inches of snow last night, so when Ron went out to shovel this morning, he made Alla a mini snowman to sit on our front step. You'd have thought he brought her a real live penguin or something. She said, "Oh my goodness!" Unfortunately she's still sad about how Frosty melted.

4. We just finished watching Diego show, now we're heading up for lunch. Sandwiches. Know what makes a sandwich so much yuumier? Full-fat mayo. Yum.

5. Know what makes my whole day yummier? A whole box of Cadbury eggs. Consumed yesterday. Should have bought a box for each day of the week. It IS Easter week, right? Shouldn't we be celebrating with Cadbury eggs all week?

6. I mentioned my friend Adriana's makeup organizers in a previous post. I am so excited that I now own one. Here's the before shot of my makeup disaster area, all overflowing out of the little bag I think it once fit in. God help you if you have to pack up and go somewhere (like, say, to the hospital).

7. And here's the after picture, all organized in there. The little pots of foundation, blush, etc., all now have velcro on the back to hold them in place. There's room for everything!

8. And it all zips up and I can put it away. A clean counter. Adriana, you're a genius. Even Ron is impressed design-wise.

9. You're all out of the baby pool now, but that's ok because at this point I think I should start getting some prizes.

10. Here's to another Tuesday not in labor, which means I'm looking forward to American Idol!

Thoughts at 41 weeks.

Didn't think I'd be here at 41 weeks.

Had another NST this morning. Pondegore isn't stressed. I'm still 50% effaced.

This week's plan: acupuncture round three tomorrow morning, then a Tuesday appointment with the midwife to make a game plan. Perhaps some bells [finally] went off when, today, at 41 weeks, I'm not in labor yet, and perhaps the midwives might be realizing, this baby's only getting bigger in there.

There were no babies in the nursery this morning but we did see one swaddled bundle of joy hanging out at the nurse's station, and oh how I wanted my own bundle of joy upon seeing that one.

Good news: I can only be pregnant for one more week!

May I recommend?

Go see Horton Hears a Who, not just for those who have some time to kill, but because it's a truly wonderful movie. Enjoyed by the grown-ups and toddler alike. Alla asked questions all the way home. Not too scary. No one died, for heaven's sakes. Gorgeous colors. Funny. Horton is very lovable. Highly recommended. A movie success.

Flashback Friday.

Yawn, we're all getting tired of waiting to see another itty baby yawn like this...

Surprise visitor.

Alla got a big surprise today when I picked her up from school. Pappi came to visit! This is one happy, happy little girl. Now if only Pondegore would come out so Nana could come, too.

To top it off, we had lovely weather today, almost fifty again and blue skies, so she wanted to drag out the tee ball and have Pappi catch all her fly balls.

And, in case you're wondering, this is what a forty weeks and four days pregnant mama looks like. Yikes that baby's getting big in there!

Today.

Me and Pondegore had a stress test. Pondegore is not stressed out. Heartrate was mostly in the 120s.

I cleaned again. Our bathroom this morning, vacuum and sliding glass door yesterday.

I have a nice new carpet stain thanks to the stupid cat who can't manage to puke on the TILE. Ugh.

We're watching Word World.

There is a Trader Joe's Pesto Pizza in the oven right now. I need a whole freezer full of Trader Joe's or Whole Foods ready-to-eat stuff. I'm tired of cooking, or even wondering what to eat for lunch.

I'm going to see an acupuncturist. Tonight. 6:15. With high hopes.

It's gray. Unlike yesterday when we spent two hours outside after nap with just coats and all the neighborhood kids were out, so happy to see each other again and have playmates to ride bikes and scooters with. You really notice how they've grown over the winter when bikes are getting too small.

I'm planning on a nice long afternoon nap. Cause, you know, the baby might come tonight and then I wouldn't get a lot of sleep, so better stock up.

I'm noticing that there are very few of you left in the baby pool.

Ten on Tuesday.

1. Yup, still pregnant.

2. Would you believe it's 49 degrees here? That means, no hats, no gloves, and you're almost too hot unless you unzip your coat. We're going outside for scooter time and splashing in puddles in rainboots after nap.

3. I'm kind of sick of walking. It's not working anyway. Better to just have fun with my daughter.

4. It's a perfect day to have a baby.

5. Next Monday, not so much. Supposed to be a big March storm. Well, let's rephrase. It just wouldn't be a good day to take the baby home, but if the baby wants to come out, say, tomorrow, or even Thursday, we'd have plenty of time to get home before the silly storm.

6. This is what we got in the way of Easter Bunny photos this year. Alla was super excited, even wanted to give the Easter Bunny an egg. But they situated the darn bunny in front of the playground, so she really just wanted to go play. He suddenly didn't seem so snuggly and cute after all. She was pretty concerned with where he went when we were on our way out and she wanted to wave good-bye. A carrot break, of course.

7. So looking forward to American Idol tonight. Who are your favorites? I like the Carly Simon chick, and the teenage boy who sings amazingly well.

8. It's pretty unnerving and exciting at the same time to feel a bit like a ticking time-bomb, like at any moment your life will change.

9. And yet to feel like your life won't be changing anytime soon.

10. Happy Birthday, Samantha!

Thoughts at 40 weeks.

I am truly dedicated to getting this baby out. Went out for a walk before lunch today in 22 degree weather. Even ran a little. Anyone looking out their window must have wondered what that crazy pregnant lady was doing. Um, trying to get this baby out, thankyouverymuch. Even though Alla tells me, We can't WALK babies out! Well I am at least going to try, little one.

And since the weather forecast for this week calls for mid 30s to mid 40s (and maybe even FIFTY-THREE by Saturday, heart be still), I think that walking is what we'll be doing every day after nap.

Perhaps Katie's theory is right, that Pondegore was waiting for warmer temperatures before making an appearance. Well, you are going to get them this week, baby, so any day is fine.

Seeing an acupuncturist on Wednesday evening (not-so-secretly hoping this will do the trick).

Ron and I finished season two of Weeds last night. Rent this show immediately. It is that good.

We go back to the midwife on Wednesday morning to check-in and see if anything is actually happening. Last pregnancy at that point, my water had broken. I'm hopeful.

It really sucks that I've been having contractions for months, and they don't seem to be doing anything.

A lot of you are out of the baby pool, now, huh? Guess it doesn't pay to be nice to the mama and say she's going to deliver early.

I think a lot of you also didn't pay attention to the original post about said baby pool. Or there wouldn't be any guesses under nine pounds!

That's all I got for today. Like I said, don't assume any blog absence means I'm in labor. It doesn't. Apparently Pondegore likes being in my belly where it's nice and warm, and has no plans to come out anytime soon.

Flashback Friday.

I titled this one "Sleeping on the job," so I'm assuming little Alla, 12 days old, was supposed to be eating. Such a sleepy one she was.

Officially jealous.

But over the moon happy for my friend, Mel, holding her newborn baby girl.
And, seeing how she was born three days shy of two weeks overdue, I guess I can wait a little longer here. Perhaps it isn't my time just yet.

Congrats, my friend!

Happiness is...

Having bacon and avocado to add to my salad for lunch yesterday.

Sleeping a full eight hours in a row last night. That's right, no getting up to pee. No cat chewing on furniture waking me up, no daughter calling out for a hug and kiss, no spending an hour getting back to sleep after rolling over. Just eight hours of glorious sleep. Don't think I didn't understand this morning that that was probably the last time for a loooooong time, and give many thanks to the sleep gods.



Alla's thrill and pride over her somersaulting.

Feeling this baby moving around wildly in my belly. It's amazing that you can ever forget exactly what this feels like, but you do.



Parent-Teacher conferences this morning at Alla's preschool where her teacher, Kelli, had nothing but adoring praise for how our daughter is progressing. I felt like my own mother sitting there, kind of surreal to be the parent sitting in a conference, rather than the kid being talked about.



A clean house.



Putting every single CD I own on my new iPod. This is a monumental feat. We have four big cases full of at least 100 CDs each, and I'm only just getting through the first one. Currently uploading: The Best of Sade.



Leftover chicken-couscous salad for lunch.



Alla eating her first s'more for an after-lunch treat. I should add, she always gets bites of mine, but today finally asked for her own. This took her a full fifteen minutes to eat, you have just never seen someone enjoy a s'more like this. Which was great cause I got to enjoy my cup of ginger-peach tea and Girl Scout Trefoils. What she had to say about her very own s'more: It has marshmallow! AND chocolate! AND big cracker! I didn't know you could stack it like that!

Ten on Tuesday.

1. I'm officially five days away from my due date.

2. No one should assume that a blog absence automatically means I'm in labor. It most definitely does not.

3. The good thing about making it this far is I got to my hair appointment last night.

4. And I can watch American Idol tonight.

5. We finally packed our hospital bags. And I managed to get it all into one this time, meaning one bag for the whole time. Not a separate labor bag, postpartum bag, baby bag, etc. Plus a ball, a stereo, a snack bag. Just.one.bag. Well, and multiple cameras, of course.

6. Ron, sweet husband that he is, gave me this yesterday. I happened to mention that having all our music downstairs on the computer was a pain and I'd like to listen to music upstairs, like for breakfast and other meals, without having to run downstairs first to turn it on. And this showed up yesterday. Current project: making a playlist for while I'm in labor.

7. Speaking of my lovely husband, his sisters have set up a profile to vote for their mama as America's Favorite Mom. You can go here to vote for her!

8. The plan is to take Alla and Evan to see the Easter Bunny on Friday. Surely having a plan means I won't make it that far, right?

9. Have I linked to these before? My high school friend Adriana designed these amazing makeup bags and I keep saying I need to order one already! I have two little bags, plus my two big pots of foundation and powder sitting out with no room for them in either bag. I thought of my need for her bag again as we were packing for the hospital and I had visions of Ron packing only one of them, like the bag of brushes or something that would probably make a mama of a newborn absolutely lose it.

10. Yes, it's true, I wash my hair once a week. And I can wear it down for at least 5 days without a grease effect. Then I prolong the wash process as many more days as possible by doing ponies, buns, etc., especially with a flower or other pretty clip. I'm thinking an almost new mama needs a new one, just to make herself feel pretty, something like this since it's my favorite red.

Happy Tuesday! Hope you voted in the baby pool!

39 Weeks.

And surely there's only one more week of pregnancy, right? Right? Well plenty of you have guessed that the end is actually nearer than a week, so I love all of YOU. The ones that guessed past my due date, not so much.

At least we're all pretty much healthy now!

We might need to pack our bags.
Set up the co-sleeper.
Get out the bouncy seat (or something, you know, just to make it look like a baby is welcome here).
Wrap Alla's gift to Pondegore and Pondegore's gift to Alla.

Finished my last photo shoot yesterday and those shots are ready for the family.

Did a giant Target run this morning, after which we drove another 45 minutes round-trip to get some Panera for the grown-ups and McDonald's for the little one as a reward (all three of us needed rewards).


Think that's about it. I keep wondering, is this the last time I'll wash my hair (remember I'm a once a week gal), is this the last time I'll clean the house, is this the last time I'll put Alla to bed as an only child. Sigh. Her life is about to change, but for the better, I hope. I thought I'd be more emotional about it, but instead I'm so miserably uncomfortable that I can focus on nothing but getting the baby OUT.